


comfort and catharsis

by plumberriii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuaka - Freeform, Depressed Akaashi Keiji, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumberriii/pseuds/plumberriii
Summary: The usually cool and unbothered former setter of Fukurodani finally reaches a breaking point in his adult years.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 79
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	comfort and catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> Late day 3 entry... ehehe... I'm so sorry Akaashi I love you--
> 
> Also thank you to my friend jin for correcting my mistakes <3
> 
> Check out @lemonwaakusu's art on twitter too!

Akaashi was stressed. An unfathomable amount at that. You’d never expect how much people would change, especially after graduating high school. The usually unbothered former setter of Fukurodani seemed to carry the world in his shoulders on a daily basis. Very few things would make him smile or even motivate him at the very least. Stress gets to him easily along with the frequency of breakdowns. His life is now full of deadlines, always seeming to be under pressure, always running on the rushing waves of things. But he could only take so much. He became more sluggish at each passing moment of the day. His mood would sometimes be a little too sour and when he realizes this, he couldn’t help but apologize. Things became grayer than it already was. Everything was just black and white to him. It’s either he’s up or sinking into a downward spiral. Today might be one of those downward spiral days. 

His stack of work doesn’t seem to be getting thinner. The deadline is already coming too close for comfort. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a proper sleep, even a proper meal. What day is it even today? His mind is going to places they shouldn’t be despite taking his meds. The one thing that may have changed all this only became an added baggage to his feelings. His application to transfer to another department got rejected. Akaashi kept his cool upon hearing the news but the moment he was alone, he let his dejection take its course. It was like a sudden defeat after trying so hard to climb a win. The bottle in his heart started to overflow. He didn’t notice the huge beads of tears dropping on the scattered edited pieces of work he had on his table. He was a bit thankful he had to work at the comfort of his home or else it would be more challenging that it is now. Akaashi didn’t care if his tears ruined those papers at the moment. He couldn’t take it. It was all a little too much for him to handle, all at the same time. His breath was already trembling. The constricting feeling in his heart grew, gasping in his sobs. Sometimes he had wished to go back to those times where things were still a little bit easier for him.

_ The times when Bokuto was around him all the time. _

It’s one of the things that keeps his spirits high, even at his breaking moment. Bokuto was like a free-spirit he kept chasing around as a kid. The memories they had together was when Akaashi’s life peaked. Their antics during high school, dealing with Bokuto’s mood swings during a match, the after-school walks and hangouts; it was all a good time. Before he realized it, he was already falling for the ace, yet he wasn’t able to evaluate it that time. Akaashi only considered him as a good friend and senior. He even gave his button to Bokuto when he graduated, unbeknownst to him how much it meant to Bokuto. Now that they’re both adults, they could barely see each other but would definitely make time for each other.

Akaashi felt it’s a little bit too late for him to admit how he felt. But he held onto those feelings. Those feelings kept him moving. It kept him grounded somehow, replaying all those funny, peculiar memories. All it takes is to look at that one photo album he kept filled with his high school memories with Bokuto. It was far from his reach, out in the small living room his apartment had. 

All these thoughts about Bokuto made him realize he was coming over today. And the last thing he wanted was for Bokuto to see him like this. He was afraid — scared that the other might leave him because he was miserable.

_**I can’t lose you too** , Bokuto-san. _

Shuffling to his feet, his body wobbled as he forcefully pulled himself up. His vision was already blurry from the tears that he had shed. His surroundings felt more dim and his world felt like it was spinning. And before he could take another step —

_ Thud. _

* * *

“ _ The number you have dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area. Please try your ca _ _ — _ _ ” _

_ Beep. _

Bokuto was confused as he walked up to the other’s apartment place. It was probably his 10th dial on Akaashi’s number. He knows the other always kept his phone close because his work demands a little bit too much. Akaashi has never replied to his texts too, when he usually does, even if he’s busy.

“Weird…” he mumbles as he fumbles through the contents of his bag, looking for the spare key in the other’s apartment. As to why he has it, he insisted to have a spare key for reasons he couldn’t mention. Finally fishing out the cold metal feel of the key, he opened the door and his face paled.

There was Akaashi, lying lifeless on the floor of his own apartment.

“Akaashi!” Bokuto rushed to Akaashi’s side, cradling the other’s weakened body into his arms. The former captain kept tapping onto his tear-stained cheek, in the hopes of waking him up. Much to his dismay, it didn’t work. He tried shaking him awake, “Akaashi, hey, wake up,” but there’s no response. Bokuto was flustered and frantic. As he observes the other, he could see the faint rising and falling of his chest. A sign of life. Akaashi was still alive and Bokuto could never be happier. 

“Hey, hey, Akaashi, hang on a bit longer. I’ll call an ambulance. It’s going to be alright.” He wasn’t sure if he was reassuring himself or Akaashi, but it’d be nice if the situation gets better.

_ I can’t lose you now, Akaashi. _

* * *

Everything felt cold. It was undoubtedly a little bit colder than his own apartment room. But his hand felt warm, as if someone was keeping it warm. The strong smell of the disinfectant filled his nose and his apartment didn’t smell like that. His eyes were partially open, adjusting to the harsh light of the white-painted walls. Did he pass out? His mind was fuzzy, his thoughts floating, still piecing things together. Akaashi lets out a soft groan,taking in his surroundings.

“Keiji? Are you awake now?” 

‘ _ That familiar voice…’ _

“Bokuto-san?” 

Bokuto couldn’t help himself but pull him into a hug. He was so relieved that Akaashi opened his eyes. All of his worries washed away just hearing Akaashi’s voice once again. He nuzzled into the other’s disheveled hair. He was being careful with his embrace but it was tight enough to make Akaashi feel safe. 

Bokuto’s usually booming voice was soft, “Don’t scare me like that again…” as he placed a kiss on top of Akaashi’s hair. The former setter relaxed as the gesture, returning the hug that was initiated. Bokuto held him closer, drawing comforting circles along his back.

“I’m here now, Keiji. I’ll stay with you forever, I promise that. Everything that comes with it, I’ll carry with you.”

“Is that a confession?” Despite the wise retort he shot at Bokuto, he couldn’t stop himself from crying. He longed for those words. The words he wanted to say — the words he wanted to hear. The catharsis of his feelings. There was a soft smile on his face as Bokuto pulled away to press his forehead against Akaashi’s. His calloused hands cupped both of his cheeks. His thumbs wiping away the tears that stained his face. On the contrary, he was pouting despite the sweetness of his gestures.

“Would you really doubt me when I’m being honest?”

“Of course not, Bokuto-san. In fact, I like you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry :'D (running away) Leave kudos and comments if you like my work! I really appreciate those <3 Check out my [twitter](https://twitter.com/paradeslust__)! New friends are always welcome! As always, thank you for reading! It means a lot to me!!!


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